The Human waves the fly away and drinks the beer. How do you get a bar full of Dwarves up on the roof?Īn Elf, a Human, and a Dwarf Go into a bar and order a beer.īefore they drink, a fly lands in each one.Īnything you like – you can’t make Listen checks while Raging. One to put in the new bulb, and another to “uphold the light” Awful D&D Jokes… in a bar How many Paladins does it take to change a light bulb? How many wizards does it take to change a light bulb? He holds the bulb, and the universe revolves around him. How many high elves does it take to change a light bulb? One to hold the bulb, four to drink ’till the room spins. How many dwarves does it take to change a light bulb?įive. How many succubi does it take to screw in a light bulb? You know, that sword may not be beautiful, but it IS in the eye of the beholder. Orc 1: Well, I’m not gonna make you the party healer then. Orc 1: What’s the difference between a Wand of Cure Moderate Wounds and a Rod of Wonder? Orc 1: You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline. Orc 1: What’s the difference between an elf, and a trampoline? One’s weird and usually quite funny, and the other’s a type of joke. What’s the difference between metahumour and metagaming? “Very well, then,” said the dwarf, “I’ll have an ale.” “Let me get this straight,” the dwarf says, “the orc wished for all the orcs to be gone, and the elf wished for all the elves to be gone?” The Efreeti nods. I wish all the elves and half-elves were returned to their ancestral home.” The Efreeti nods his head, and the elf vanishes. The elf says, “The elves need to get back to their roots. I wish all the orcs and half-orcs were returned to their ancient lands.” The Efreeti nods his head, and the orc vanishes. The orc says, “We orcs need to return to power. ‘I didn’t know you could cast that spell!’Īn orc, an elf, and a dwarf find themselves being granted wishes by an Efreeti. One is a horrible, slimy, disgusting monster and the other one is a creature from the Monster Manual.Ģ bards are standing on a bridge, when the first one emits a stinking cloud. Ogre 2: What you talking about? You at other side!ĭo you know the difference between a DM and a Gibbering Mouther? Ogre 1: How you get at other side of the cube? Two ogres are flanking a gelatinous cube (or whatever…) What do you call an orc with two brain cells? My warlock got hit in the face pretty hard last session and lost a tooth, How do you call a magician who’s incredibly good with cooking? What happened to the demon when his girlfriend joined the Holy Order? What is that mineral called that’s just out of reach and gives you a choice?ĭid you guys hear about the magic skillet? What do you call a thousand-year-old fey? Our cleric will sometimes stop the combat just to have a drink with his god! Why are tabaxi podiatrist good with money?īecause they’re experienced bean counters. Why was the gnome artificer embarrassed when his clockwork crocodile stopped working? Sometimes they just want to raise a family in peace! Why is a necromancer not always a bad guy? What do you call a cult of deep old one warlocks who worship their astral ankheg overlords? How to Aarakocra prefer to send messages? Why haven’t we had a playtest for psion in so long?īecause it you checked it out now, it’d blow your mind! What do you get when you cross the wizard and the rogue? Why was the musician kicked out of the tavern? Which body of water do you get bonuses to sail across? If the barbarian has ten gold pieces, and the rogue steals half of it, what does the rogue take? What tool helps a wizard with writing the correct runes into their spellbook? What forest animal helps the druid get that nice green colour for their robe? How does the paladin protect against the heat of a Fire bolt? Why did the Halfling stop dating his Warforged girlfriend? How do you get a D&D player to go out with you? When it starts critiuing your form during combat. How do you know if your magic sword is blunt? Terrible D&D Dad JokesĭM: Yes, and that bard your playing isn’t great either. So get ready for the worst, most terrible, and completely obnoxious D&D jokes. That’s why I scoured the internet for your most cringeworthy D&D jokes. Wizards in star-spangled purple robes? Treasure chests that eat people!? Let’s face it.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |